Naked Eyes

Double Ds: Mother thought she was so special because of one little ad in her underpinnings. 

Pointy Cs: I am a legend, captured in time, virile and womanly, my fruits ripe for picking.

Double Ds: Speaking of fruits, have you seen my melons? Clearly they're not from your side of the family.

Pointy Cs: You know what they say: "More than a handful..."

Double Ds: I believe that ends, "...would have kept Dad from deserting the family."

Pointy Cs: You have always been my least favorite child.