Battle of the Bulge

How I've longed for clothing that adds unsightly bulges to my figure!

Dunk Your Funk

A whore's bath would be so much easier if my knees would bend the other way.

Who Tooted?

This looked so much sexier in my head.

Preppy Power

Boy 1: Our band has the coolest album cover.

Girl 1: This isn't an album cover and we are not a band.

Boy 1: Very funny.

Boy 2: It's true. We're trapped in an ad.

Boy 1: An ad for what? Did Skittles start a clothing line?

Girl 2: How long will we be like this? Evil Eddie is still out there, wreaking havoc on our precious city. 

Boy 2: It's possible we'll be frozen in these ridiculous 'N Sync poses forever.

Girl 1: Of course we will. And why? Because I have a date tonight.

Girl 2: You do? What's her name?

Girl 1: It's a guy. I keep telling you, I'm not a dude.

Girl 2: O. KAY.

Boy 1: If we're going to be stuck here forever, can we at least try to be a band? We have really good album art.

Boy 2: We're superheros, not rock stars. Please focus, or everyone we love may be wiped out by Evil Eddie and his pack of thugs.

Boy 1: I'm pretty sure those things flying around us are Skittles. Who wants to taste the rainbow?

Down the Hatch

Model Left: Explain how this works again.

Model Right: If you stand while you eat, the food flows faster, making it harder for the calories to stick to your sides.

Model Left: Oooh, shabang, that is awesome. 

Model Right: Right? And if I stand higher than you while feeding you, it's practically an ice luge, but instead of a cocktail flying down the hatch, it's red velvet cake. 

Model Left: Genius!

Model Right: I know. I told you GEDs are overrated.

Model Left: Can you get any higher? I think my side just caught a calorie.

Here Kitty Kitty

Oh please, like they're not declawed. 

They are, right?

Dance of Joy

Dead, dead, dead ... and there's no evidence!

Shoe Box

Model: You're looking up my dress.

Artist: I assure you, I am not.

Model: I clearly saw you glancing in the direction of my nether region when you're supposed to be focusing on my shoes.

Artist: Do you not see me hard at work on my sketch?

Model: Indeed, and based on my shaving practices of late, that's a pretty accurate depiction.

Artist: Yeah, what's up with that? Not your best look.

Model: A-hah!

Artist: That doesn't answer my question.

Model: Shut it, mustachio.

The Mound of Music

Now where did I leave my kazoo?

Butt Head

 

Blimey. How do my knickers keep winding up on my face?